Observer

AI Has A Novel Idea

Some day historians will try to figure out how the artificial intelligence revolution took place during a time of actual stupidity. The United States, one of the world’s two AI superpowers, is being led by men and women who actual revel in their own ignorance, believing their idiocy is evidence of their authenticity. If H.L. Menken were alive and dyspeptic, he might well have observed that they need not try so hard. The authentic idiocy of the president of the United States and his minions is self-evident. He and his goons have nothing to prove.

My own casual acquaintance with AI has persuaded me that the end truly is nigh. The end of thinking, that is. And of writing and of human storytelling. How long before AI churns out some work of fiction that immediately rockets to the best-seller list and is then adapted into a Hollywood spectacular using AI actors?

All of that said, this week, as part of a shamelessly self-promotional Observer, I’ll share with you something generated from AI related to a certain book I’ve been flogging. Below you’ll see a somewhat implausible but otherwise intriguing front page from something called the Manhattan Courier, which is reporting on a terrible crime: The murder of two British officials in Central Park in 1885. The Courier has rounded up the usual suspects for interviews: Irish agitators John Devoy and Jeremiah O’Donovan Rossa, both of whom fell under suspicion almost immediately. The paper also notes that there are calls for the great Irish parliamentarian Charles Stewart Parnell to denounce the killings, while Lord Randolph Churchill is seizing on the murders to discredit Parnell even as Her Majesty’s government sends Sherlock Holmes to New York to get to the bottom of the Irish conspiracy.

Hold on: Wait, that’s the plot … of my novel.

Yes, AI is so smart it can now get through 250 pages of my fiction (which takes more than brains – that takes will power) and can create a “newspaper” detailing the fictional crime I invented. Yeesh.

I have no idea how this is done, but I know who did it. And if you also want to know, well, you are cordially invited to meet my friends Martin Nutty and John Lee, cohosts of the great Irish Stew podcast, on June 1 at 7 p.m. at Ernie O’Malley’s in Manhattan. Martin and John have put together a show featuring Chris Byrne on the uilleann pipes and actor Michael Mellanphy reading from my book, “Terror in America: A Sherlock Holmes Adventure.” Tickets are available at Eventbrite here: FRESH STEW - Irish Stew Live with Terry Golway Tickets, Monday, June 1 • 7 PM - 9 PM | Eventbrite

It promises to be a lot of fun. And a nice break from actual reality.